


Wanted: Random Guy

by fuzzballsheltiepants



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AFTG Valentine's Day Exchange 2020, Alternate Universe - College/University, Coffee Shops, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22713136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/pseuds/fuzzballsheltiepants
Summary: Neil's just trying to get through life as a math major, surviving primarily because of his favorite coffee shop and his speculation about all the regulars there.  When an ad appears on the coffee shop bulletin board looking for someone to take fake couple's photos with, he decides to give the guy a call.  After all, it could be entertaining...right?
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 81
Kudos: 1099
Collections: AFTG Exchange Valentine's Day 2020





	Wanted: Random Guy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofcamelot/gifts).



> For Leah, who requested Andreil, foxes as family, and fake dating. I was beyond excited when I saw that I got to create a story for you! You are one of the kindest, most generous and supportive people in fandom, and without all the work you do I do not believe this fandom would still be as active, vibrant, and amazing as it is. So thank you, so much, for being your lovely self and doing so much for the All For the Game fandom! -Alexis

The last remnants of dirty snow crunched underfoot as Neil hiked his bag higher on his shoulder. Class had let out a half hour early; he had a couple of hours to kill before he needed to pick up Ada from day care. Though the sun was finally peeking through the clouds, warming the back of his neck; maybe he would get her early, and they could go to the playground for a little while before dinner.

The warm aroma of coffee met his nose, and he hesitated before ducking into the little shop. One of these days, he would manage to walk past this place and not spend his money. He wasn’t sure when, but eventually it could happen.

He settled into line, scanning the regulars who were dotted around the cafe. Serious Writer Girl sat near the window, earbuds in, tapping away at whatever she was always writing. Goofy Mohawk Guy was laughing with someone Neil didn’t recognize, one of the endless rotation of friends or hookups he brought in for a macchiato. Musician Girl was tucked into her usual corner, periodically conducting her laptop screen with one hand. And Stacked Android Guy had whipped cream on his upper lip where he sat next to the cup display.

Neil stifled his smile at that. He had been coming to this coffee shop almost every day for eight months and had never yet seen Android Guy make a facial expression, but there was something vaguely endearing about the little blob of cream. Before he could decide if he would say something, or pass the guy a napkin, the line advanced. “Any crazy orders today?” he asked Sara as he reached the counter.

“Not today, but last night before close I had someone come in and order eight shots of espresso in one cup. At seven o’clock. We were taking bets on if it was a new mom or a thesis.” She shook her head while she entered his order automatically—large flat white—and he handed her a five, walking away before she got his change. It was their little ritual, and she shot him a quick grin before helping the woman behind him.

His usual table was occupied by a couple of giggling students, so he settled underneath the bulletin board and pulled out his computer. The problem set he’d been assigned couldn’t hold his attention, though; his eyes kept drifting, and he’d find himself staring off into space without even realizing.

A clatter startled him out of his stupor; Musician Girl had gotten a little too enthusiastic and knocked over her mug, spilling tea everywhere. He joined in with a couple of other people helping her mop up the mess with napkins; her face was beet red and she looked like she wished she could disappear into her shirt collar like a turtle, but she accepted their help with murmured thanks.

He went back to his table, hesitating before sitting back down. Fuck it; he was never going to get any work done. Downing the rest of his coffee, he stuffed his laptop back into his bag and turned to leave when a notice on the bulletin board caught his attention.

**WANTED: RANDOM GUY TO TAKE COUPLE’S PHOTOS WITH**

**21 yo M PSU student with an overly involved cousin looking for someone to take selfies with to get said cousin to shut the fuck up. Bonus points if you have weird pets or kids, a really bad wardrobe, etc. Text Andrew at 864-622-8164**

Neil huffed a laugh; this guy must be really sick of his cousin. He headed to the door before stopping. After all, he could help this Andrew guy; Ada would probably love it, if eleven month old children loved anything other than putting inappropriate objects in their mouths. Spinning on his heel, he went back to the notice board and ripped off one of the tabs with the number on it.

When he went to leave, he caught Stacked Android Guy watching him with as close to an actual expression he’d ever seen the guy make. He still had the little bit of cream on his lip. Neil grinned to himself as he pushed out into the fading sun.

* * *

Andrew watched in disbelief as Hot Nerdy Guy shoved his number into his pocket. This was not what he’d had planned when he put that notice up last week. Aaron had told him he’d probably get a serial killer; Allison had voted for some middle-aged ex-con with neck tattoos and a ferret collection. Either of which Andrew could have handled better than the guy whose ass he checked out at least three times a week, who flirted with the baristas and left too-generous tips and was constantly shoving his glasses up his nose as he stared at his computer.

It was fine, he told himself. Absolutely fucking fine. Hot Nerdy Guy would never actually text him; and if he did he would back out as soon as he learned what Andrew was thinking; and if he didn’t back out he would turn out to be stupid and boring with an annoying nasal voice and a tendency to meticulously fold toothpaste tubes from the end. Not that Andrew would ever see his toothpaste tubes.

Fuck. What if Hot Nerdy Guy wanted Andrew to see his toothpaste tubes?

He pulled his attention back to his study materials. Not that he was overly worried, but he didn’t want to have to take the LSAT more than once. Plus Aaron would mock him until the end of time if he did better on his MCAT than Andrew did on the LSAT. Besides, there was no way anything was going to come of that stupid notice he’d put up half-jokingly.

* * *

“Neil?” Dan’s voice echoed down the hall, and Neil eased to his feet, tip-toeing out of Ada’s room. She had fallen asleep not long before, one hand clenched firmly on her stuffed elephant’s trunk.

“Hey,” he said, accepting her quick hug. “She just went down. Had a big day, we went to the playground and she got to dig in the sandbox.”

“I bet she had a good time.” Dan finished shedding her winter clothes and headed straight for the kitchen.

“I mean, I still have sand in my pants, but yes, she had a great time.”

Dan laughed. “Better you than me. Want something to eat before you go?”

“Nah, I’m fine, I stole some of her applesauce at dinner. How was the game?” Dan’s disgusted face said it all, and Neil grinned. “That bad, huh?”

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “No, it’s not, I’m not being fair. I’m just tired of breaking up fights every single halftime. If I wanted to do that I would’ve coached boys.”

Dan had taken over the women’s basketball program at PSU the year before. Thirty years earlier, the Vixens had won the NCAAs; but they had rarely been above .500 since then and the school had been through coach after coach. Neil still wasn’t sure how Dan had sweet-talked her way into the job with only two years as an assistant under her belt, but despite the fragmented nature of the team they were slowly accumulating wins.

“You’ll get there. Anyway, I’m going to head out.”

“Sounds good, see you tomorrow. Thanks again for helping us out, it’s hard with Matt away so much.”

Dan’s husband, Matt, was a physical therapist who had just gotten hired as a trainer for the local pro basketball team. He had been Neil’s therapist after his accident, and somehow they had managed to adopt Neil into their tiny family even after Neil was up and walking again. He still didn’t quite understand how it had happened, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Neil shrugged on his jacket and shoved his hands in his pockets. There was something in there other than the usual random nickels that he always accumulated; he pulled out the crinkled piece of paper and smoothed it out. “Oh, right. Hey, Dan?”

“Hmm?”

“There was the craziest thing at the coffee shop today. Some guy had an ad up, looking for someone to take pictures of so he could fool his family into thinking he had a boyfriend?”

Dan laughed. “Are you thinking about doing it?”

“I don’t know. Kinda. It seems like it could be pretty fun.”

She emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “Aww, well, sweetie, anyone would be lucky to fake-have you.”

Neil’s eye roll was almost painful. “Sure. Yeah.”

Dan studied him for a moment. “You really going to do it?”

Neil didn’t know how to explain the draw; there was just something about the phrasing. “The ad was hilarious.”

“The guy could be a serial killer. Or a stalker. Or one of those weird guys with like, forty ferrets or something.”

“Is that a thing? What’s wrong with ferrets?”

“There’s nothing wrong with ferrets, if you have like, one or two.” Dan shrugged. “I mean, text him, don’t text him, whatever. If you decide to do it, meet him first, and only in a public place, and—”

“Yes, thank you,” Neil said, rolling his eyes. “My plan was to just meet him in a dark alley, or get right in his windowless van. You know. The way you do.”

She laughed and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I know you’ve dealt with all kinds of shit, I just worry.”

“I know.” He snagged his bag off the floor. “See you tomorrow, tell Matt I said hi.”

The sun had long gone by the time he made it to the sidewalk, taking with it the fleeting warmth it had teased him with. He flipped the collar up on his coat and headed towards home, the paper still nestled in his palm.

* * *

**864-229-3146**

_Hi_

_Andrew right?_

_I saw your ad_

_Good for you_

**Is this hot nerdy guy**

_Are you still looking for someone to take selfies with?_

_Depends_

_Why?_

**Is this hot nerdy guy**

_Because I thought it might be entertaining_

_What’s the deal with your cousin?_

_He’s a nosy busybody who just got married_

_And he’s exhausting_

**Is this hot nerdy guy**

_Fair enough_

_I’m Neil by the way_

_Ok_

**Neil**

_So do you want to talk in person? See if this will work_

_Why not_

**Neil**

_You know the coffeeshop on Village?_

_…_

_You mean the one where you saw the ad?_

**Neil**

_Right_

_Yes_

_That one_

_I’ll be there tomorrow around 3ish_

_I have a test tomorrow_

**Neil**

_Friday?_

_Ok_

**Neil**

_How will I know who you are?_

_I’m a regular. The baristas can point me out_

**Neil**

_Ok see you Friday Andrew_

* * *

Of course, Professor Rhemann chose Friday to pull Neil aside after class.

“I’ve been impressed by your work this semester, Neil,” Rhemann said jovially, sitting on the edge of his desk.

It took every ounce of Neil’s willpower not to flee. “Uh, thank you.”

“And I’d like to ask you if you’d be willing to T.A. for me next semester.”

A few seconds passed before his words registered. “Me?”

Rhemann smiled. “I don’t see anyone else standing here.”

“But—I’m not qualified. I don’t even do half the equations the normal way, I—”

“I know,” Rhemann said, interrupting him before he could spiral. “But we’re not teaching elementary school kids here. Creative thinking in higher mathematics is an asset, not a liability. And I’ve seen you, you know.”

Neil tried to puzzle that out and gave up. “Seen me?”

“Helping Robin. Some of the others, too, if they ask. You don’t have to say yes…”

“But?”

“But honestly? You’d be making a mistake if you say no. There’s a stipend that goes with it, and it’ll give you a leg up if you plan on applying for graduate programs.” He straightened up and started gathering his stuff. “You don’t have to tell me now. Get back to me next week.”

Neil didn’t remember walking out of the classroom. Rhemann’s words swirled through his mind. There was no way he was able to do this—he had backed his way into his math major when he had gotten too bored with his linguistics classes. But he did kind of enjoy it when he explained his weird-ass way of solving things, and he could see Robin’s eyes light up with understanding…

A gray drizzle was falling when he reached the courtyard. He tilted his face up to it for a moment, relishing the cool mist against his skin. He didn’t have to get Ada today, Matt’s team was back in town. He could just go to the coffee shop—

The coffee shop. Picture guy. Fuck.

Turned out that running in jeans in the rain might, in fact, have been the worst idea ever. Which for Neil was saying something. He reached the shop at ten after three, soaking wet and stupidly out of breath.

Jeremy was at the register with his usual megawatt smile. “Rough afternoon?” he asked, automatically starting to ready Neil’s drink.

“It’s just starting,” Neil answered, somehow earning a laugh. Then again, Jeremy laughed at almost anything.

“Hey,” Neil asked, leaning a little bit across the counter and dropping his voice. “Do you know an Andrew?”

Jeremy laughed again. “Of course! Everyone knows Andrew. He’s right behind you, over by the cups.”

Neil barely stopped himself from turning around. He already knew who it would be. “Stacked Android Guy? Seriously?”

Jeremy grinned even wider than usual. “He is pretty built, isn’t he? Why are you asking about him?”

Neil just shrugged and took his drink. He didn’t feel up to explaining this whole nonsense, and he was already late. Not that Andrew seemed even slightly aware of his presence; as usual he was intent on his laptop screen. Neil walked over and pulled up a chair.

“Andrew?”

The Android looked up at him, wariness flashing across his eyes before they flattened again. He didn’t say anything, just scanned Neil’s dripping hair and soaked bag.

“Uh, I’m Neil. I texted you the other day?”

Andrew gave the tiniest of sighs, so quiet Neil may have imagined it. “Right. Figures.”

Neil chose to ignore that as he settled into his seat. “So your cousin just got married?”

“Yeah.”

There was a brief silence while Andrew fiddled with the touch pad on his laptop. Neil sipped his coffee and waited, but nothing more was forthcoming. “Okay. And that made you want to do this, why?”

This sigh was definitely real. “He got married, my brother just bought a ring for his girlfriend, our friend proposed to _her_ girlfriend, and Nicky is freaking out that I am going to,” he made air quotes, “‘die alone and get eaten by stray dogs.’”

Neil nodded, toying with the handle on his mug. “So the logical conclusion is to pretend to be in a relationship with a stranger, the weirder the better.”

“Why not? He lives in Germany. He’ll know it’s fake but he won’t _know_ -know, and maybe for once in his life he’ll realize that he should back off.”

“What’s the outlook on that?” Neil asked, feeling a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

“Not great,” Andrew admitted. “But fucking with him is always entertaining.”

Well, Neil could understand that appeal. They sat for a moment, Neil sipping at his coffee, Andrew continuing to trace elaborate designs on his touch pad. “What—” Neil started.

“So,” Andrew said. They both stopped and waited for the other; Neil made a go-on gesture.

“So,” Andrew started again, “I didn’t actually think anyone would take me up on this, but since you’re here, is there anything in the parameter of taking selfies together that you’re not comfortable with?”

That wording was—hilarious, and Neil bit back his grin. “I mean, I’m somewhat opposed to nudity.”

“Only somewhat?” Andrew asked sarcastically. “Trust me when I tell you that is not on the table.”

“And I, uh, I don’t drink, and I’m not great in crowds. Otherwise I’m pretty much up for anything.”

“So shooting heroin is fine as long as it’s not in a crowd?”

Okay, Stacked Android Guy was pretty funny. “Fine. No drinking, no drugs, no nudity, no crowds. Where were you planning on doing this?”

Andrew shrugged. “It was going to depend on who it was with. If someone had goats or something that would probably dictate the location a bit.”

“I don’t have any pets,” Neil said, drumming his fingers on the table. “Oh, but I do have access to a child.”

Andrew stared at him for a second. “Well that doesn’t sound creepy at all.”

“She’s not my kid.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really improve the situation.”

Neil couldn’t help but laugh. “No, no, she’s my friend’s kid, I babysit for her.”

“Someone entrusts you with their child?”

“Yeah, well. Desperate times and all. But she loves having her picture taken. I could ask Dan.”

“Her parents would be okay with some random stranger taking pictures with their kid?”

“You’re the one who said kids were a bonus.”

“Yeah, because I was expecting some middle-aged creepy guy with like, teenagers. Not some hoaah—some twenty year old student who is stealing his friend’s daughter.”

Neil wondered what Andrew had been going to say before he censored himself. Not that it really mattered. This was going to be a couple hours out of an afternoon sometime; it would be a nice break from studying. Or fretting about the potential TA position. Whatever.

“Do you ever wonder about the other people?” Neil asked, watching Goofy Mohawk guy flirt with some girl who was not the girl he’d been sitting with when Neil had gotten there.

“The other people,” Andrew said flatly. “I suspect I’m going to regret asking this, but which other people?”

Neil made a circle with his hand to indicate the shop. “The other people that are here all the time. Like, what’s with Serious Writer girl? What is she writing, a thesis? What on?”

There was a little twitch at the corner of Andrew’s mouth that Neil thought passed for a smile. “It’s porn.”

“It’s not porn,” Neil said, laughing. “She’s way too serious for that. It’s got to be her thesis.”

“In that case, I want to know what her major is, because there’s a lot of discussion of cocks and holes in her thesis.”

Neil gaped at him, and the corner of his mouth twitched again. “I read over her shoulder once. It was Han Solo-Chewbacca slash fanfiction. Unless you think Wookie anatomy is a major at this university.”

She was in her usual spot by the window, typing away, a little furrow between her eyebrows. And that’s when Neil realized: she never had anything else with her. No books, no papers, no notes. She hardly ever even stopped typing, except to get another coffee. Huh.

“What about Mohawk guy?”

“Physics major, plays guitar in a garage band. And once I overheard him talking about crabs, and I’m still not clear if he meant the food or the STI, so I started sitting here instead of that table in the corner.”

After Neil’s laughter had faded, they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. This was—easy, somehow. Maybe because there was no real expectation; most of the time when he met new people it was because Matt or Jeremy had introduced them, and there was always the weight of impending disappointment on his shoulders. But this had no risks, beyond the serial killer thing. Neil had expected to give up and walk out after a couple of minutes, and instead he found himself actually looking forward to spending an afternoon being an idiot with Andrew. “So what do you want to do, then, since I lack both goats and legitimate children?”

“I’m not going to touch that last one,” Andrew said, shaking his head.

“It’s close to Valentine’s Day,” Neil offered. “We could go to one of those studio things, with all the pink and the hearts and whatever.”

Andrew almost snorted his drink out his nose. “That would definitely give us away, Nicky knows I would never do that.”

“Us, huh?” Neil said. Andrew’s neck turned pink, and he took another sip of his drink, which must have gone cold by now. “Park?”

One blond eyebrow went up. “What are you suggesting?”

“That we take the pictures at the park,” Neil said slowly, trying to figure out what else Andrew thought he could have meant.

“If the weather cooperates, that could work. Okay.” He pulled out his phone and tapped the screen a few times. “It’s supposed to be sunny and in the fifties on Sunday.”

Neil hummed. “Are we going to wear matching outfits or something? I’ve never seen you wear anything other than black or really dark gray.”

The pink crept farther up Andrew’s neck. “We don’t need to match. Do you have something particularly hideous? I mean, worse than your usual?”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“Nothing,” Andrew said, with a miniscule twitch of his shoulders that might’ve been a shrug. “You pull off the broke homeless college student look very well.”

“I mean I’m two of those three things so, at least I’m consistent.”

Neil was starting to enjoy the looks Andrew shot him. He’d always been good with languages, spoken or unspoken. “So, Sunday.”

Andrew gave him a dismissive wave. “I’ll text a time.”

Getting to his feet, Neil swung his bag over his shoulder. “Sounds good.”

He inserted himself into the flow on the sidewalk, the river of people heading home from school or work or shopping. Usually he enjoyed the feeling of losing himself in a crowd, just another faceless member of humanity, unattached to those around him and yet not alone. For some reason this time he just felt...hollow.

He climbed the stairs to his tiny apartment, pulled out his computer, and got to work. And if he wasted time imagining what it might be like to have someone sitting opposite him, someone to laugh and talk and be quiet with, nobody needed to know.

* * *

“You’re actually going through with it?”

Andrew tilted his head back over the arm of the couch to survey his brother, who glared back at him, arms crossed in an amusing attempt to look intimidating. After a couple of blinks, Andrew returned to his book. Aaron huffed and shuffled into his line of vision. “He could be a lunatic.”

Andrew shrugged. “He could be.”

“What if he does something?”

“What, precisely, do you think he’s going to do in the middle of the park at two in the afternoon?”

Aaron snatched the book out of Andrew’s hand. “Come on, I’m serious.”

“I know you were betting on serial killer in the pool, but this guy is friends with Jeremy.”

“Everybody and their mother is friends with Jeremy. Hell, _you’re_ friends with Jeremy. That proves nothing.”

Unfortunately, Aaron had a point. Jeremy could probably make friends with an angry bear, the ursine variety as well as the gay kind. “What do I need to do to get you to shut up about this?”

“You mean other than cancel?” Aaron pondered for a moment. “Take backup.”

Andrew snorted and grabbed his book back. “Absolutely not.”

Sunday at quarter of two, Andrew left the house, accompanied by Aaron hand in hand with Katelyn, Renee and Allison trailing behind. The four of them had plotted out some sort of surveillance scheme that involved hiding in bushes and wandering laps on a set schedule. There were alarms and secret signals and impressively terrible fake bird calls, and it was all very stupid and over the top, but what else was new.

It wasn’t like he actually had a chance with Neil anyway.

He reached the agreed-upon benches a few minutes early and pulled out his book. He was only just starting to relax into Douglas Adams’s descriptions when someone stopped just in front of him. Neil, wearing overlarge faded jeans and a denim jacket that had seen better days, and a vaguely unsettled expression.

“Hey. I swear I just saw someone who looks exactly like you. Like, exactly. It was so weird.”

Of-fucking-course. “How did you know it wasn’t me?”

Neil gave a furtive glance behind him. “He was wearing blue and with a girl. You don’t have a twin, do you?”

“I do, actually.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s actually better.”

Andrew raised a questioning eyebrow, and Neil grinned. “I was worried I was hallucinating. That, or there was some sort of alien takeover where they adopted human forms or something.” He dropped onto the bench next to Andrew uninvited. “He here as backup in case I turn out to be a serial killer or something?”

“Naturally.”

“Smart.” Neil nodded with mock seriousness. “I’m supposed to text Dan every fifteen minutes to let her know my location. I also got the whole lecture about what to do if you put me in the trunk of your car, so if that’s what you’re planning, I know how to kick out the tail lights.”

A quiet laugh escaped Andrew. “I must admit, I’m curious as to how I’m supposed to stuff you in my trunk in broad daylight.”

“Honestly, me too, but Dan’s convinced you’ve got your ways.” There was something about the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled that made Andrew’s breath come a little too short. “Anyway, what are we actually doing? Like, what kind of selfies do couples even take?”

Andrew didn’t particularly want to admit he’d scanned Instagram for ideas. Especially since a lot of the ideas had involved bedrooms and artfully rumpled sheets barely covering artfully rumpled men. “We can start right here.”

“Okay.” Neil started unbuttoning his jacket; Andrew almost asked him what he was doing when he spotted what may have been the most atrocious wolf t-shirt he’d ever seen in his life.

“What the fuck is that?”

Neil flashed him a brilliant smile. “You said you wanted something hideous. My roommate left it behind when he moved out.”

The problem was, on Neil’s lean muscled frame even snarling wolves and what was probably supposed to be a patriotic eagle didn’t look that bad. Andrew swallowed a sigh. “That’ll work.”

He pulled out his phone and held it up. Neil shuffled in closer, until Andrew could smell his soap and feel the heat of his body. He wondered if punching himself in the face would work to distract him from the idiotic impulses surging through him.

Probably not. Unfortunately.

Stuffing down traitorous thoughts of Neil’s lips, he took the picture, then studied his phone screen. Neil leaned even closer to look, and somehow Andrew’s tongue suddenly felt too big for his mouth.

“Wow, you do a good murder face,” Neil commented. “And I look like an idiot.”

He did not, in fact, look like an idiot; Andrew looked as impassive as ever so at least he was on-brand. He took a couple more shots from different angles, but Neil was blinking in one and some random kid photobombed the other chasing after a squirrel. Mostly they talked, Neil inventing stories for the strangers walking by, Andrew sometimes adding on.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Neil muttered quietly, staring off into the distance.

Andrew turned to see what he was staring at; there were people everywhere, but nobody stood out in particular. Neil sighed the sigh of the long suffering, then cupped his hands around his mouth. “Matt! Dan!”

A man wheeling a stroller flinched but didn’t turn, and Neil huffed and yelled, “If you think I don’t see you, think again, you’re eight feet tall!”

The man paused, then he and the woman with him turned and headed up the hill to Andrew and Neil’s bench. “What, exactly, are you guys doing here?”

‘It’s a nice day,” the woman said, but there was humor dancing in her dark eyes. “We thought Ada would like to go for a walk.”

Neil rolled his eyes, but a fond smile pulled at his lips. “Matt, Dan, this is Andrew, the not-a-serial-killer I’m taking photos with. Andrew, Matt and Dan, my overprotective friends. And Ada, of course.”

Matt and Dan murmured hellos, glancing between them with questions in their eyes. The baby in the stroller stared up at Andrew, waving chubby hands in his direction and babbling a string of syllables that almost sounded like words. “Ada, you are the only civilized member of your family,” Neil said, freeing her from the stroller and settling her on his hip.

“Nee!” she squealed, smacking him on the cheek.

“Thanks, baby girl,” Neil said, fixing his glasses. “Wanna meet Andrew, since your mom and dad couldn’t leave well enough alone?”

“Gah!” she answered, leaning towards Andrew with grasping fingers.

“No, not maul Andrew, that is not what I said.” Neil shifted her to his other hip, and this time she managed to knock his glasses completely off. Andrew bent to pick them up, and felt tiny fingers grab his hair and tug.

“Oh my god, Ada,” the woman—Dan—said. “I’m sorry, she’s fascinated by blond hair.”

Neil freed him from her tiny clutches and took his glasses, tucking them into his jacket pocket. The baby grabbed onto Neil’s hair then, dragging his head to the side. Andrew snapped a picture, and Neil shot him an amused, if sideways, look. “You wanna take a picture with the three of us?” Neil asked, gesturing between himself and Andrew.

“Not sure Dan and Matt will want a stranger posting a picture of their baby on the internet.” But he could imagine the seventeen different ways Nicky would lose his shit if he saw a picture of Andrew with Neil and a tiny human, and the thought amused him.

“It’s okay,” Dan said, after a silent conversation with her husband. “Just, uh, don’t post her name.”

After some finagling, Matt took Andrew’s phone to grab a few shots, and Neil and Andrew leaned in, shoulder to shoulder, with Ada still in Neil’s arms. As soon as they were distracted, Ada grabbed Andrew’s hair again, laughing and kicking out her little feet in their ridiculous tiny sneakers. All in all, he was relieved when Matt took her back, dancing around in a little circle with her before settling her into her stroller.

“You’re fine?” Dan said to Neil.

“Of course I’m fine. I’ll text you when I’m done.”

As they headed off, Andrew spotted Renee on the hill across the way, and he felt a strong urge to disappear. Neil asked him something, and he dragged his attention back to him.

“Huh?” he asked with his usual eloquence.

“What else do you want?” Neil was obviously laughing at him, but he found he didn’t mind. “I mean, are these adequately couple-y? I don’t really know what you’re looking for.”

Andrew shrugged; he didn’t really know either. “Me taking photos with anybody will be weird enough to throw Nicky off, so I’m not sure it matters.”

Neil hummed. “I guess I don’t know how touchy-feely most people are. Matt and Dan are all over each other, but maybe that’s weird?”

It wasn’t, judging by the fact that Andrew couldn’t walk through his house without encountering some sort of display of affection, either Aaron plastered over Katelyn or Renee and Allison gently intertwined. “Are you comfortable with that?”

“I mean, it’s not like you’re going to be ravishing me on a park bench, correct?”

Andrew choked on his own spit. “I think we’d get arrested if we tried,” he said when he’d finished coughing.

In the end, they got a few pictures with Andrew’s arm draped across Neil’s shoulders, and another with Neil pressing a joking kiss to Andrew’s cheek. Andrew could still feel the warm softness of it when he walked home after, surrounded by his raucous housemates, all of whom had witnessed the cheek-kiss from afar.

He spent a while sorting through the pictures, picking the best ones for Instagram. The first one; Neil balancing Ada effortlessly on his hip; the one with Ada’s fist in Andrew’s hair, a broad smile bisecting her face, Neil laughing and trying ineffectually to free him; one of the ones with his arm on Neil’s shoulders, his face as level as always but Neil crinkled into a smile. He wanted a fifth; he stared for a long time at the last one, at Neil’s half-closed eyes with their long lashes, the purse of his lips; at the flush of his own cheeks, and the little glimmer in his eyes. And in the end, he posted just four.

* * *

Neil was not certain he had ever needed coffee as much as he did in this precise moment. Two tests, and a Spanish paper that he had forgotten about until he’d gotten back from the park last night. But it was over, and now he could inject some caffeine into his system.

And maybe—maybe he would see Andrew.

They had texted a little last night, Andrew relaying his cousin’s over-the-top reaction to the pictures complete with vast quantities of emojis. _This may have backfired,_ was Andrew’s dry commentary. When Neil had finally finished his Spanish paper, he had stalked Andrew’s Instagram page. The photos had a surprising number of comments on them, for something seemingly so innocuous, some of which still made Neil blush when he thought back on them.

Andrew was in his usual spot; he didn’t look up when Neil entered. Okay, then. The arrangement was done; it didn’t matter anyway. Neil headed straight for where Sara was already prepping his caffeine fix with a huge grin on her face. “Neilio!” She took the five Neil handed her and gestured with her chin in Andrew’s direction. “I was surprised to see him here without you.”

Neil looked at her, lost. “He’s always here alone.”

“Yeah, but that was _before._ When were you going to tell us you were a thing?”

“We’re not.” He wasn’t sure why the two words sent a strange pang through him; but Sara gave a disbelieving laugh.

“Bullshit.” The woman behind Neil in line cleared her throat, and Sara gave an apologetic grimace. “I saw those pictures on the ‘Gram, and after you two were all buddy-buddy the other day? You want to tap that hunk of beef, don’t try to deny it.”

“Sara—”

“You want him to be the father of your children—”

“I’m like, ninety-nine percent sure it doesn’t work that way.”

“A statement on the American education system, but still. You know what I’m saying.”

Neil felt the heat rising in his cheeks. “I don’t even really know him. It was just for his cousin, didn’t you see the sign?”

“The pictures were for the cousin, sure. But you were chatting him up for like, an hour on Friday. I’ve never seen you talk that much. And I wasn’t even sure if he would know what a laugh was if it punched him in the face, but there he was, proving me wrong.”

“Just give me my damn coffee.”

Sara held it out, then pulled it back when Neil reached for it. “Not until you admit it. You want to get to know him better.”

Neil opened his mouth to deny it, but what was the point? He wasn’t sure he wanted—whatever else Sara was implying, but joking around with Andrew had been more fun than he’d had in ages. “Fine. Sure. Whatever.”

She handed him his coffee with a flourish, and he headed towards his usual table, but halfway there he stopped. Andrew was staring at his laptop, but Neil had the feeling he hadn’t been a moment before. He hesitated, then turned on his heel.

“Hi,” he said, when Andrew glanced up at him, something guarded and tentative and almost hopeful in his eyes. “Is this seat taken?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! I want to thank @gluupor, for recognizing immediately that I have no common sense and giving me a gentle shove in the right direction with this fic; @foxsoulcourt for laughing at all the right places as I wrote; and, as always, @tntwme for the beta. 
> 
> I've mentioned before my anxiety re: replying to comments, but I really appreciate and cherish each and every one. If you want to come yell at me [on Tumblr](https://fuzzballsheltiepants.tumblr.com) or [on Twitter,](https://twitter.com/fuzzballsheltie) I'm always happy to chat over there!


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